Why I'm NOT YOUR Good Girl

I was commenting recently on a Tweet about the allure of being called a a good girl and in homage to "Sex and the City", I couldn't help but wonder ...

What IS it about being called a good girl that is so instantly bone-meltingly appealing for some...

And why do I find it so loathsome when I encounter it in a comment left on my content?

Firstly, let's unpick the word "Good" because, let's face it: it's a boring fucking word. On its own it is a word that usually fills me with feelings of "meh". So why is it so appealing when it's attached to girl/boy?

Why does such a bland and boring word hold such immense power?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines the word GOOD as:

• Very satisfactory, pleasant or interesting,

• Healthy or well,

• Of a high quality or level,

• Used to express praise,

• Successful, able to do something well,

• Kind or helpful,

• Morally right,

• Well behaved,

• To show satisfaction or pleasure at something.

If we take all of these definitions into consideration ... WO DOESN'T WANT TO BE CALLED GOOD? Who doesn't want someone to show how pleasant or interesting or successful or kind or helpful you are?

And if you mix this with a praise kink? Oh my! Strap yourself in ... because having a praise kink and being called a "good girl" is enough to make many spontaneously combust in a puff of glitter!

Being called a good girl/boy is intoxicating for many reasons:

• it makes you feel like you have done something right ... be that sexually or not.

• if you are a good then you are usually seen as kind and caring - and who doesn't want to feel like this?

• it has lots of positive connotations such as being smart, well-behaved, responsible.

• if you have been used to being seen as "bad", someone calling you good can be addictive.

• It can create a sense of belonging and acceptance.

• It acknowledges that you have succeeded in something - in a kink context, usually it is regarding rules and tasks.

• Some people are natural people-pleasers and combined with low self-esteem, it is their way of feeling like they have pleased you. That they matter.

In ALL of the above situations, the universal truth is that when someone calls you "Good", they are essentially complimenting and praising you (which is a lovely thing to do) ...

So why would I and so many have a problem with this; why are there so many caption amendments, status updates and writings that chew (predominantly) men out for calling them a "good girl/boy"?

I am a self-confessed good girl. I ADORE the phrase and all the feel-good endorphins that rush into my head when I hear/read these two simple syllables. It makes me feel seen, accepted, valued, loved and cherished...

BUT I DON'T ADORE IT FROM A RANDOM STRANGER ON THE INTERNET. It has the opposite effect: it makes me feel uncomfortable, disrespected and ...

well, BAD.

Why? Because it isn't coming from someone that is important to me. For me it's the equivalent of me picking up a piece of garbage from the side of the road and some passerby calling me a "good girl" for it.

IT MEANS NOTHING. Because there is no relationship between us. There is no dynamic. It is NOT MY JOB to please YOU.

The only person I crave to please is my Daddy.

The only person I crave to hear call me a good girl is my Daddy because from HIM it truly means something. It means I've pleased him by following OUR rules or that he loves a colouring I have finished FOR HIM or that I've taken HIS beatings beautifully.

Daddy - not some random on a kinky social media site - using "good girl" symbolises the deep connection we have and the trust we have placed in each other when entering into this dynamic.

And this is the only dynamic and connection that is important to me.

And this is why I loathe when others call ME a good girl.

Because I'm not YOURS.

I am my Daddy's. And only he has the right to call me this.

#daddiesneedreassurancetoo

I am also NOT shaming anyone who DOES like others to comment these phrases on their content. I can only share MY own views and feelings regarding this.