FetLife: Your "Dungeon" Has Sprung A Leak...

Below is a copy of the last writing I published on Fetlife.com.

They locked me out the same day and set my account to be deleted on 1st December 2024.

Why did they do this to me?

Because I spoke out about the safety issues I witnessed on the site. 

Because I spoke out about the suspected data breaches and leaked reports by caretakers.

Because I spoke out about the countless other users who have been shadowbanned and locked out previously - unjustly and without confirmation of what TOU they broke. 

Many are still in the shadows - struggling in silence as their content is suppressed - all because they, too, used their voices and spoke out against what they saw and witnessed on this site: 

- racism

-sexism

-misogyny

- beastiality 

- pedophilia 

- transphobia

and so much more.

So, why am I posting this?  

Why am I warning others?

Because they refuse to refund my subscription unless I provide them my legal name and address.

Because they tried to force me to verify by supplying government issued photo id with numerous personal details... AFTER I had shared a petition asking them to enforce their own TOU.

Because others who are locked out and been deleted are being refused a way to export their own data...

This writing is for them.

This writing is for my friend, Pixie, who was also targeted, harassed and had their account deleted.

This writing is a warning to all who use the site.

***

I am a relatively small account in the grand scale of FetLife accounts...about 7k followers...

But Fetlife is my sole access to kink, BDSM and any form of support network. 

You see, as a disabled person with a whole clusterfuck of conditions ... events, munches and all round in person-fuckery is extremely difficult for me. 

So FetLife has become my dungeon...

My munch...

My safe place to kink.

I have been active for almost 3 years on this site and in that time I threw myself into the community:

- I've taken part in countless challenge groups;

- I've tried my hardest to stand up for others;

- I've actively run 5 groups of my own with around 200 members in each;

- I've made amazing friends;

- I've become so much more confident in my changing body;

- I've gradually felt comfortable enough to find a place my Little could call home.

I thought FetLife was home... 

And I still believe it could be.

But you see ... my dungeon has sprung a nasty leak...

And that leak has revealed a multitude of structural flaws...

But nothing that couldn't be fixed...

If the landlord gave a fuck about the property... 

If the landlord was willing to find solutions to the flaws...

If the landlord was willing to listen to the tenants and work with them to find a way to make the property safe again.

And THAT is why I care.

Why I care enough to shout about the flaws and the fundamental issues...

Because I believe it can still be worked on...

I believe that this place COULD be safer if we were listened to ... really listened to:

- We don't want AMAs .... we want the ability to mass block those in problematic groups.

- We don't want a group mute button ... we want to know that if we reach a 20k block limit, you're not going to unleash the dangers back into our feed, in the name of "site instability".

 - We don't want 9 million different roles ... we want those who have been locked out to return and those who have been shadowbanned to have their content visible again.

- We don't want to destroy your site ... we want it to be a fair place where the TOU that YOU created are followed consistently.

And this is why I am willing to burn down my own safe space ...

Why I'm willing to wake up every day, wondering if today will be the day my account had been deleted for speaking up for change...

Why I cannot stay silent, play nice, and hope one day my shadowban will be lifted.

Because this place DOES actually matter to me.

I wish it mattered to the site owner half as much.

***

If this matters to you ... please sign this petition to urge Fetlife.com to enforce their own TOU:

https://www.change.org/p/demand-fetlife-com-enforce-their-terms-of-use-and-prohibit-abusive-content?recruiter=1336153976&recruited_by_id=2b8af350-f6c9-11ee-acd2-abd72bd517bc