How to Help an Anxious Little (Opinion)

 There are a lot of littles out there who experience really bad anxiety.

As I have written before, I am one of these littles. And I struggle to manage it.

But this isn't about me.

This writing is about highlighting ways to manage anxiety when you are little/advice for Caregivers and is by no means a definitive list ... I hope that if anyone comments below on strategies that help them/their little that I can then add them here.

Communication

For many littles who have a Caregiver, hearing their voice is one of the biggest ways to ease anxiety. Being able to call, or listen to a recording of their Caregiver's voice is soothing and relaxing and a way to feel connected and safe.

So many littles who experience anxiety also mentioned that the way their partner/Caregiver communicates is really important in easing/increasing their anxiety.

Communication is important in EVERY DYNAMIC, hell EVERY RELATIONSHIP, but when you are dealing with anxiety combined with a little, then your communication needs to be EVEN MORE consistent. For example, in order to ease my anxiety (which I have every day), my Daddy constantly texts and calls me if he is not with me: he lets me know where he is, how long he will be and lets me know if this changes in any way. For me, this is the basic level of communication I need in order to feel safe and less anxious.

Now, not every little will require this level of communication - it is always important to ask - but as a Caregiver, you need to be prepared for this level of commitment if this is what your little needs (or be prepared to not get involved, if you cannot fulfil this).

A Safe Space

If at all possible, having an area set aside as a safe space (or even just identifying a room where this happens) could help ease anxious feelings for a little.

Many littles identified these areas as being safe spaces for them (again, If you are a Caregiver, I would encourage you to ask your little if there is a place they feel most safe):

• the bathroom, in particular in a shower or bath.

• corners hidden away

• Places with low lighting and/or less noise

• blanket forts

• Caregiver's lap, arms

• some littles need skin to skin contact to feel safe and less anxious

Help Manage Self-Care

One of the main areas so many littles with anxiety struggle with is self-care. When in the grips of an anxiety episode, we may forget to do even what is perceived as the most basic of things and this is where encouragement from Caregivers or even friends can be so helpful. In my dynamic, I have rules that I follow so that I remember to take care of myself but here are some suggestions:

• Set timers on phone to remind you to eat

• have a selection of yummy snacks and treats to tempt you to eat if anxiety affects your appetite.

• cups with reminders of how often to drink/refil

• pill boxes if you need to take medication, along with reminder alarms on your phone

• rewards for yourself if you brush your teeth/wash your hair etc (or whatever you struggle to do when your anxious.

• Limiting the choices to two: milk or water/chicken or spaghetti etc.

• The above can be done either with or without a Caregiver.

Many littles have sworn by easing their anxiety through:

• putting on clean sheets,

• bubble baths

• comfy clothes (whatever that looks like for you!)

• eating (hanxiety IS a thing!!)

• drinking a warm drink like tea or hot chocolate

Find Activities That Distract You

Again, every little is different, but here are some ideas of activities that many have found helps them:

• Drawing/doodling

• colouring in

• crafting (knitting, crocheting, diamond art, etc)

• cooking and/or baking

• listening to your favourite music

• taking a nap in soft blankets

• cuddling a stuffie

• Playing with their toys/dolls

• sensory play - slime, sand trays, play doh etc

• watching your favourite shows (lots of suggestions here from Disney to True Crime)

• Using a weighted blanket

• Being spanked/Impact session.

• Trying to go for a walk if it doesn't make your anxiety worse.

• Sucking something can be soothing (some use pacis, some suck sweets, thumbs...)

• Inner child work - I do not know anything about this technique as it was suggested by someone else but I am keen to learn about this.

• Breath control - very important in helping with the fight/flight response.

I really hope this doesn't come across as condescending; I only want to help other littles with anxiety find ways to manage theirs.